Following a true blue pattern

Given the various amounts of energy I spend towards doing things which have no real import, I'm wondering if I shouldn't come up with two different classes of daily effort, one being Passive Effort, and the other being Active Effort. Recently it seems everything I'm doing revolves around passive effort, simply floating from idea to idea with no real trajectory of thought or coalition of energy. Akin to dogpaddling upriver when I'm quite proficient with a freestroke, the feeling is quite strange, especially considering I want to enter into Harvard's GSD within the next year or so, hopefully next year, but if not, then the year afterwards, which would put me in the awkward position of having way too much time to do way too much. However, at this juncture, I simply want to transform most of this PE to AE. Its hard. Active Energy takes concentration and willpower, and the ability to ignore distractions while simultaneously returning to work once the unavoidable distractions are dealt with. I don't think I've ever had a long bout of Active Effort, which is a shame. Most of this probably lies at the feet of my high passive effort threshold. I've never had to really work for anything in my life, never had trouble fulfilling any longterm goals, although in retrospect, there is always room for improvement had I chosen. In a way, I've created my own worst enemy, willing to accept better than mediocrity, when I could be creating the best. And its basically a matter of walking down the various paths I know are in front of me without trying to hop on any others. And to keep walking everyday, regardless of pain, weather, difficulty or opposition.

This blog is one of the paths I've chosen, one of the ones I've jumped off and on continuously for over a year. And once again I wanted to quit it, because it didn't match up perfectly with my current goals. It was a blog designed to fit the wandering mind of a struggling athlete, and here I am, writing about esoteric paths with no resemblance to a workout plan, nutrition analysis or story of frustrated bicycle repairs. Yet, this blog is still mine, and represents more than just the 44 weeks left before an Ironman begins. That title of 44 weeks also applies to setting a goal and then finishing it. It still applies. This time I have 8 weeks, 8 weeks of study time before my GREs, a little over 9 weeks before the application is due. And the goal setting is applicable again. But I want to do better than floating in on a high threshold of Passive Effort. I want to use all the Active Effort I found in my Ironman to push myself everyday. To transform myself into a person who gets up and gets it done. Everyday.

Starting with this blog.

Starting with my handwriting.

Starting with waking up in the morning.

Starting with studying everyday.

Starting with corresponding with the people I love.

Starting with training and eating right.

Starting with a goal and continuing everyday with effort.

Already my mind is met with attempts by Passive Effort to creep in on these vows of lazibacy. Like not writing down that I want to make a goal for each day, or a list of goals. Or a goal for each week, and each month, and each quarter... each year. But these goals are so necessary, and the first and most important daily goal I have, the one which will provide the bedrock behind all my future success, is to wake up early. At 5am, everyday. Starting tomorrow, and continuing everyday.

Each day, at 5am, I will wake up, and write down one goal for my pyramid (body-fitness, mind-LA, spirit-family). Then throughout the day I can update this blog with progress on those goals and with little snippets from my life. So that someday, I'll have some catalog of performance to look back at, that'll be nice.