Shit, time already

So much for the once every day thing, and my fingers are so cold right now I'm not sure how long the recalcitrant motherlovers are going to bang away. Yet I will try, I have some emotions to get out in the open and on to some form of copy before they burn away through that ever-reforming wall in the middle of my emotional set. Visiting Derek was difficult, first because I had to explore all those emotions which I've so backwardly and meticulously put away in the back of my head, or perhaps somewhere nearer to my foot. To find out the things which he has done to both the family and myself, the continuing heartless manipulation and lies, those eat away at my confidence in his ability to recover. His turning to the darker and baser levels of humanity and the human soul has progressed for such a lengthy period, and the difficulties of a full conversion to a sober mindstate is a path of such difficulty, I worry and do not hold much hope for a future sober Derek, but I will give him the support even a bad brother deserves, for he is blood of my blood and born of the same mother I am. I need to call Mom and Dad, they need to hear that I'm doing ok, and the difficulty has ended for me. And if I can get on that letter a day bandwagon, then I'll be on the way to a very good day. Dealing with Derek will be difficult, he has betrayed every trust a family can give, one more betrayal and he is done in my book. Last chance dance.

The goals of today:
Mark up the calories eaten:
Continue workout plan:
Order Ironman book:
1 hour running
1 hour swimming
2 hours biking
1 hour yoga
30 min fitness cardio

If I can get in an hour and a half extra yoga/fitness cardio in per day, it'll be a very good thing. I'll do the running and the swimming this morning, the biking at 2pm, the fitness at 4:30 and the yoga at 5:30. And then I'll come home for some much needed rest. I need to place some discipline in my life otherwise I"ll never get the things done I want to. So I'll go to the gym now, first run, then swim, get back by about 12, order my book, work out the calories so far for the day, drop the stuff off at the library, research the dog fence, go on the ride, head back to the gym, do the situps, pushups, dips and pullups, do the yoga, come back, relax, write a letter, then watch some more of the world at war dvd.

That sounds like a pretty full day. To finish it off, I'll reflect again this evening with the blog. There, that only took 10 min, and well spent if you ask me.